“Family teaches you to love without holding back. It shows you how important it is to accept people and the differences we have, no matter how hard it is”
Th family we have is not always blood, and sometimes we do not get to choose our family. In the case of blending an extended family after marriage, you are blessed with a new group of people who love and support you. When bonds are built and you are accepted into your new family, it is a blessing.
“Don’t be in such a rush to figure everything out. Embrace the unknown and let your life surprise you.”
We cannot believe that we are celebrating ONE year of spreading the message of positive co-parenting. The last twelve months have been a whirlwind of emotions. We knew the moment we decided to take the plunge into writing a Blog and recording a Podcast, things would be chaotic.
“It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on. It takes a lot of strength to let go.”
So many times, when we are in relationships that are not meant to be, we attempt to find any way possible to make it work. We make excuses for bad behavior, we try to “fix” the other person, we even turn into someone that we are not just to please our other half.
When all those attempts crash and burn, we somehow get the bright idea that having a baby will make it all better. Sure, that absolutely sounds like an amazing idea.
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always.”
It is true that some of the toughest battles we face are often the battles that lie within us.
There was a time when the terms depression and anxiety were taboo. Those that suffered from such illnesses were shamed and belittled. Mental illness is more prominent and talked about in the world today, than ever before.
“Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves it.” - Najwa Zebian
As little girls we dream of the day that we walk down the aisle towards our Prince Charming. We design our pure white, ball gown dress, and pick the color dresses our bridesmaids will wear as they stand by our side. We even choose the song that will play during the dance we will share with our Father, after he gives us away to the man we will now share the rest of our life with.
“Remember, the kids will grow up and look back on their childhood with an adult perspective.”
It is true that children are resilient. Most of the time, they are able to cope with tragedies even better than some adults. However, when their lives are turned upside down and inside out by divorce, adjusting can be a little more difficult. Then, when you begin blending families and co-parenting, it can become even more daunting.
“Friendship is about trusting each other, helping each other, loving each other, and being crazy together.”
Friendship comes is various shapes and sizes. Some are childhood bonds that last a lifetime, then we have the friends we made in school. If you are a military family, like we are, you have the friends you have made in each duty station that now reside all over the world.
“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” -Robert Fulghum
The most colossal responsibility you will ever accept begins the moment you become a parent. For many, parenthood is a continuous journey of shared obligation. When you are in a nuclear family, the shared portion is relatively even across the board. However, when you are co-parenting after a divorce, the balance may shift a bit.
“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss
When I became a mom for the first time, I had an instant connection with that beautiful baby looking up at me. After finding out that I was pregnant with my second child, I was terrified. I wondered how on earth it would be possible to love another child as much as I loved my first. I did not think my body was capable of containing that much love.
“Your first obligation as a parent is to not bring chaos into your kids’ lives.”
Marriage does not normally come with the expectation of divorce. However, it sometimes ends that way. If you are blessed to have created life between one another during that marriage, it tends to make the divorce a little more difficult.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
First things first: We are certainly not experts on the topic of boundaries, being that we barely have any! However, and we cannot emphasize this enough, boundaries are something that we highly suggest you set and make known.
“We cannot go back and make a brand-new start, but we start now and make a brand-new ending.”
Addiction is scary.
It is not prejudice.
It does not ask permission, yet it can enter your home at any given time.
It has the potential destroy you and your loved ones. Many believe addiction is a disease, others believe it is a choice.
“The hardest part of being a parent is watching a child go through something really difficult and not being able to fix it for them.”
Parenting is a challenge no matter which way you look at it! In a nuclear family, raising children can be a source of tension if the parents are unable to mutually agree on each aspect of the parenting plan.
What if you have a child that exceeds those normal challenges?
“An amazing marriage begins when a couple decides to stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other.”
There are several aspects that can affect a marriage or relationship. Often, we allow outside entities to creep in and negatively impact the life we are trying to build with another person.
“Keeping a calm mind during a difficult situation is the best defense against a difficult person.”
If you are anything like us, we attempt to dissect every issue we have, and in doing so we are often quick to diagnose those involved in or who are the cause of our problems.
Is it really up to us to decide what is ‘wrong’ with another person? Are we qualified to place a label on someone, simply because they do not think, act, or speak the way we do? Can we departmentalize a person because they handle a situation differently than we would?
“Your circle should want you to win. Your circle should clap the loudest when you have good news. If they don’t, get a new circle.”
Webster defines a tribe as ‘a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.’
The above definition most accurately depicts our “tribe”. April, clearly being the unspoken (and yet very spoken) leader! And everyone else, falling into some sort of perfect-chaotic order. “It takes all kinds of kinds”, and that could not be more accurate when it comes to choosing your own tribe.
“She was fragile, but her spirit was strong. When she decided not to give up on herself, her wings appeared.”
Everyone experiences fear at some point in their lives. It could be something simple or even something catastrophic. What is your deepest, darkest fear? Is it spiders?
Perhaps, it is something much deeper, like death. Maybe it is as simple as the fear of being alone.
