“Don’t be in such a rush to figure everything out. Embrace the unknown and let your life surprise you.”
We cannot believe that we are celebrating ONE year of spreading the message of positive co-parenting. The last twelve months have been a whirlwind of emotions. We knew the moment we decided to take the plunge into writing a Blog and recording a Podcast, things would be chaotic.
“What an absolute journey this last year has been. It was full of the highest of highs, along with some of the lowest of lows I have ever experienced. My wildest dreams became a reality. Do you know what that feels like?
For years I have begged and cried to God, to change the course of my life and to answer just one single prayer. This last year, one thing I learned, God’s greatest gift was unanswered prayers.
A year ago, I set out on this journey with April, in hopes of healing and to find clarity to so many unanswered questions I have had throughout the years. I hoped to build a trust amongst her and John, the father of my children.
What I did not expect to happen, was to fall into a deep level of friendship with the woman who married my ex-husband. I also did not expect the level of motherhood that I would enter and the co-parenting world that we had the opportunity to not only correct, but perfect.
Throughout the tears and nights of anger during this process, I discovered myself again. I discovered my peace and the ability to push through conflict. I found my voice and became unafraid to speak up when I had felt unheard for so long. I discovered who I was always meant to become and to embrace that woman and accept her, even when others did not.
A big part of divorce is questioning your worth. After my divorce I not only questioned my worth but I searched for it in all the wrong places. I may not have been compatible for the man I wanted to spend forever with, but that does not negate my worth. That certainly does not negate my worth to the future either.
I am enough. Just as I am.
With the changes that have come, and the obstacle we have all faced within our co-parenting world, I truly can say that we would all not be where we are today, had we all not learned to let go and forgive. It seems so simple, and for a long time I thought I had accomplished just that. I never searched for closure though, instead I learned to standstill in who I am and my beliefs. Guess what?
Closure found me.
When asked if our friendship or our dynamic amongst us all is genuine, I can tell you it is as genuine, chaotic, messy, and beautiful as any love story.
Our stories did not end in divorce.
Our stories began the day we decided to forgive and open our hearts to a new kind of love story.
Only this love story does not start with “Once upon a time”… No, this love story starts with, “I accept you where you stand, and forgive with all my heart.”
What does the future hold? That’s a great question, and one that I like leaving unanswered. God does his greatest work when we let go and remember the peace He has already brought to us through the storms. I don’t plan on having any expectations about the future.
I am too busy taking life one day at a time and knowing that every chaotic or beautiful thing that enters my day is from God. He is specifically placing obstacles and blessings in my life because He already knows what my future holds. For me, I just enjoy soaking this all up because life is too short, and the time I have with my babies is fleeting.
To make a giant conclusion simple: I do not take a single moment in my life for granted. My breath alone is a gift.” - Loren
No one could have predicted the outpouring of support we have received from families all across the country. We feel like not only have we helped these families develop better co-parenting relationships, we have gained amazing friendships and bonds along the way.
Empowering others through our voices have been the biggest blessing we could ever ask for!
“Terrified. That was the emotion I was feeling one year ago. Not only was I embarking on a journey with the woman I had been in a battle against three years prior, but I was also telling MY story of adversity, heartache, pain, and victory. For the first time in my 26 years, (Yes, I am STILL 26!) I found the courage and strength to be vulnerable.
I have wanted to tell my story for as long as I can remember. I believe that we can heal and overcome so many obstacles in our lives just by knowing we are not alone in the course. What I could have never envisioned was how much individual growth I would obtain in the process. The most selfish aspect I have taken from this journey is the ability to be my most true and authentic self.
Extinct are the days of pretending to be something I am not for the sake of appeasing others and ‘fitting in’ with what society deems acceptable.
I deserve to have everything good this world has to offer.
I am beautiful. I am smart. I am enough.
Sure, I lost things along the way. I lost respect from some and for some, I lost friendship from others, support from people I thought truly cared, but what I accrued was far more precious.
I developed a friendship that is pure and true. A friendship that has been through Hell and came out unscathed, a friendship that has proven to pass the toughest of tests.
Even better, I attained peace in my marriage. Gone was the stress of documenting each phone call and text message and exchange, gone were the late nights preparing for court, and the sleepless nights of stressing the outcome of the judge’s verdict.
Most importantly, OUR children are happy and healthy. Absent are the back and forth between their parents, the hostility and anxiety surrounding our home, and the chaos that consumed our lives. Our children are now surrounded by parents that love and support not only them, but we support one another.
I am so thankful for the TEAM we built. We are a powerhouse village! Our children consider themselves to be so blessed and lucky to have a group of parents that were able to co-parent past the chaos and give them the life they deserve.
Elated. That is the emotion I feel today. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure this is not a dream. I do not think anyone can fully understand the amount of doubt I had that this – what Loren and I have built – would never be possible.
I never dreamed that we would be able to sit in the same room together, to watch the children she created with my husband celebrate milestones, or to even be civil to one another. Never would I have imagined that we would vacation together, spend almost ALL of our free time together, and share such an immense amount of love for each other.
I am so thankful that my God had bigger plans for us. He asked me to trust in His timing, and that is what I did. Each and every single day, I thank Him for what he has done for us. Sure, we put in some really hard work, but God’s answered prayers are what got us to where we are.
I am excited to see what the future has in store for us and without a doubt, it will be absolutely amazing. Watching the friendship between Loren and I cultivate into even more than it is today, makes each day look brighter. I thank her for taking a chance on this crazy chihuahua. I appreciate her accepting me for who I am and pushing me to be better each day. I love her for empowering me to burn a few bras along the way.
Most of all, I thank her for sharing her beautiful children with me and for loving my precious babies like her own.” - April
The most important lesson we have learned throughout this journey is that with prayer, ANYTHING is possible!
The best advice we have given thus far is that you MUST love your children more than you hate your ex.
Co-parenting will not be easy, but nothing worth having comes easy.
If you follow our advice, we can promise you one thing – your co-parenting journey will be all you want it to be.
One thing that we believe in and stand strong for, is that BLENDED really IS BETTER!
