“You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to love.”
Being a woman who has been deemed by others as “difficult to love”, can hold a weight that not many will understand.
You may have been labeled as the “crazy chic” or the “Ice Princess”, and perhaps you have even started to believe these titles and accepted them to determine who you are.
What if your level of love has simply not been matched?
What if the person that deemed you to be difficult, just did not understand the true YOU?
What if what you were feeling was due to the fact that the person who was attempting to love you, was not loving you to YOUR max capacity?
Choosing the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with is no simple task.
Marriage should not be entered into lightly. Do you believe in the old saying, “opposites attract”? When considering marriage, would you rather have someone that has a similar personality to yourself, or someone that is the complete opposite of you?
We have a lot of experience in marriage and dating. In our opinions, it does not matter if your spouse is the polar opposite of you or you two share the same brain. What matters most, is that you two are willing to accept and appreciate each other’s differences and similarities. Two people should never enter into a relationship with the hopes of changing one another.
Here is an important piece of advice – people do not change! Your idiosyncrasies may change, however, your true self never falters.
Before you start to disagree, let us explain. One’s ideas and outlook on life could change, your hopes, dreams, and plans may change, but your true and authentic self never changes. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” and should not be expected to change for anyone!
That being said, if you are a serial killer or bank robber, now may be a good time to make a lifestyle change. Otherwise – BE YOU!
What we are trying to tell you is that if you are in a relationship with a person that is constantly trying to quiet your voice, dull your sparkle, or shrink your large personality to fit into their tiny box - GIRL GET OUT! Life is too short, and no one should be forced to fit inside anyone else’s set of parameters. Whether you are strong willed and stubborn or quiet and docile, if you are an introvert or extrovert, skinny or more to love, tall or short, you should never be forced to be something you are not to earn the love of another human being.
Throughout life, you will come across individuals that cannot handle you, you will be too much for them.
That is ok, those are not your people. Your people will allow you to have a voice, your people will allow you to dream your own dreams, your people will understand if you want to order Mexican and lie in bed watching Netflix instead of going out to the club. Your people will let you be you!
“There was a time in my life that I did not believe in myself. I thought that I needed to be a certain way, act a certain way, and dress a certain way in order to be accepted by others. I found that in all my relationships, marriage included, that I would strive to be what I thought my friends or husband wanted me to be, other than being my true self. The problem was - I did not know who my true self really was.
I am a military wife, and with that comes an extreme amount of travel and moving. It almost became a habit to test out different personas until I found the one that fit the situation I was in. If I decided I did not like something about myself, or if it was not well received by others, it was no big deal. I knew I would be moving in the next two or three years, so I would just drop that trait and pick up a new one.
It got to a point in my life, that I truly did not know who I was or what I wanted. I had always done and said what I thought everyone else wanted, I was the person that I believed someone else wanted me to be, so much that I did not even know my own self. The difference in me and other women, is that I did not have anyone telling me what I should be or what I needed to be. I had no one to blame but myself.
After suffering with the burden for over thirty years, I decided that I was tired of living for others. It was time for me to be happy and enjoy my life. But first, I had to figure out exactly who I was. Once I found out who I really was, it was only then that I begin to love that woman. It was then that I was also able to truly be loved by others.” - April
“Sometimes I am more wolf than woman. And I am still learning to stop apologizing for my wild.”
“As a 20 something year old, young woman, I had been told dozens of times that I was crazy, difficult, hard headed, and most of all an Ice Princess - when it came to love.
Sure, in those moments where I was throwing a beer bottle across the lawn screaming for a man to love me or tossing my husband’s clothes on the lawn and trying to light them on fire, it crossed my mind that I may be a tad over the top. But, it never entered my mind that perhaps the love I was begging for was not finding me because I never truly understood my own wild woman self. No, instead I always felt like something was wrong with me. I had to be the one to change in order for that love to find me. Wrong! So wrong.
The older I got, my stance on the opinions of others began to change. I began to realize that I was, in fact, too much. I was too strong willed, too intuitive, too wild, too passionate, too stubborn, and too beautiful. I was absolutely too much, and I mean that in the best of ways. Guess what? I would rather be too much than too little for this world.
So sure, I am difficult. I am complicated, strange, and at times as bull headed as they come. There is no box I will ever fit into. And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I will never change, because running wild and free means that when someone finds my love, they too must already be running wild and free.” - Loren
Every single person in this world deserves to love and to be loved.
There is not one being on this earth that has the right or power to decide how YOU are loved.
Before you find your person that will love you unconditionally, you must first love yourself.
In the meantime, be strong, be kind, and above all…BE FIERCE!
