Wife's Tales

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Lean On Me

“Your circle should want you to win. Your circle should clap the loudest when you have good news. If they don’t, get a new circle.”


Webster defines a tribe as “a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.” 

The above definition most accurately depicts our tribe.  April, clearly being the unspoken (and yet very spoken) leader!  While everyone else thoroughly falls into a sort of perfect, albeit chaotic order.  

“It takes all kinds of kinds”, and that could not be more accurate when it comes to choosing your own tribe.

Whichever term you use to define your group friends is not important, what matters most is that you all share the same core value – that you are always willing to be there for each other through the best times and the worst times.  Your team should have an equal amount of give and take.  They can be envious of you, but not jealous.  Most of all, your tribe should always want the best for you, while not hesitating to tell you when you are wrong.  

 

“Growing up, I watched my mother share several laughs with the best group of friends.  I witnessed them lift her up when she was down.  They talked on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing.  What I loved most about her friends, was that they loved my sister and I as if we were their own. 

As a young girl, I was blessed with an amazing group of friends.  The bonds we all had lasted from elementary school, to high school, and well into adulthood.  Once we graduated and moved away from home, some of us naturally lost touch.  

I have spent most of my adult life being a military spouse.  I have moved all over the United States, which has proven to be quite difficult in developing lasting friendships.  There is no feeling like moving to a new state, where you know absolutely no one, and then asked to fill out your child’s emergency contact card at school, only to realize that you have just one name to write…your own.  

The friendships I have made taught me quickly to cherish each one of them.  However, I have always been envious of my other ‘friends’ as I watched them with their same group of tried-and-true friends, feeling as if I was somehow missing out.    

Having finally found a village of women (and men) that are willing to drop anything to be there when I need them, to act as a fill-in parent because mom is away on a business trip and dad is off on military orders, or to simply pour a glass of wine and listen to me complain about my hectic day, has been one of my greatest blessings.”  -April

Collectively, a tribe should be a like minded group of people, who have vastly different personalities.  

Think about it, what would be the point of having a tribe if you were all exactly the same?

YOU have something new to bring to the table, as do your fellow tribe members.  That is likely the reason why our village operates so smoothly!

So what exactly does a tribe do?

Well, let us tell you how our tribe operates…

We love each other’s babies as if they were our own.
Need wine, food, or gas money?  We got you!
Need a break from mom-life for a night?  We got you!
Need a shoulder to lean on, to cry on, or scream into without judgement?  We have SO got you!

Having a group of friends that you can rely on and trust is essential to your sanity.  

There are times in each of our lives that we are in desperate need of someone to grab our mail while we are on vacation, or to sing “Goodbye Earl” with when our husband doesn’t put his dirty undies in the hamper, or simply someone to lend you a cup of organic, non-GMO sugar!  

Everybody needs somebody, sometime!



“I have been abundantly blessed when it comes to the tribe I have today.  Honestly though, I have always been fortunate in having a gravitational pull that has brought some incredible women, and men, into my life.  The place I am at in life now, has brought me a rock-solid village of women who unconditionally love me, love my boys, and cheer me on like the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders in the 4th quarter.

Each one of my friends has a unique attribute that I am drawn to.  Type A, OCD, emotional, hot mess, brash, free spirited...we check all of the boxes and then some!

I am proud to say, I am the woman I am day in and day out because of the people in my circle.  It may be small, but it is fierce and full of love.”
  -Loren

 

Whether your tribe is big or small, sane or crazy, drinkers of wine or whiskey (or White Claw), EMBRACE them.  

Welcome the perspectives they bring to the table.  Thank them for bringing over the wine when you are out of patience from a long day of being a wife, mom, and employee.  Repay the favor when they join in on your crazy business venture with all your ex-spouses.  Hug them when they are still your friend even after your naughty child uses their closet as toilet.

When you find your gang of friends, your village, your tribe…love them

Keep your tribe close and appreciate everything they do to make you smile.

At the end of the day, they could be the ones sneaking in the alcohol to your nursing home!